JAM: August/September 2002 Issue: From the Spit Valve

by Mike Metheny

Give Me Ambivalence or Give Me Something Else!

Last year I received an angry letter from someone associated with the local jazz scene that, among other nasty and unpleasant things, informed me I "lacked spine."

"I've been caught," I thought, as I flipped a well-worn coin ("boxers or briefs?"), wondered if I should go with paper or plastic ("One of each?" I usually ask), and began to review the fences I'd walked with such regularity that cumulative ambivalence had, at long last, blown my cover.
How did it come to this? I've asked myself ever since. How had I allowed the trail of contradictions to grow to the point where a stiff reprimand had become required?

I can't decide, dammit! Where's that coin?

What I do know is that looking into one's own heart in search of the inconsistencies that will muddy an otherwise crystalline worldview can be revealing, especially if the list is as long as this one.
OK, here goes.

* * *

As the number of tombstones in Kansas City's jazz graveyard continues to grow (the Drum Room II, Club 427, the 18th & Vine Heritage Jazz Festival, the International Jazz Festival, KCMW, evening jazz on KCUR, the Blues & Jazz Festival), the term "wake-up call" keeps coming to mind.

...But then, maybe we got spoiled by the vibrant jazz scene of the '90s and a course correction that would take us back to a traditional norm was inevitable. (And hey, there are still plenty of worthwhile events -- including the Folly Jazz Series, the Jazz Workshop, the Corporate Woods Jazz Festival and the Pub Crawl -- that make being a jazz lover in KC a good thing.)

* * *

Kansas City wants to be taken seriously as a jazz town, but after all these years, there's still a sign above the portal at the city limits that says: "If you have dreams, ambition and a burning desire to raise the bar and be appreciated, exit here."

...But then, Kansas City has always been stocked with many worldclass jazz musicians and fans, is a beautiful place to live, has many excellent venues in which to hear and play live music, and it sure is nice not to have my windshield squeegeed at every stop light.

* * *

Over the past 60 years KC jazz musicians from Bird and Basie up to Karrin and Kevin have hit the road for greener pastures as soon as opportunity and career successes would permit.

...But then, many outstanding artists have returned to Kansas City helping to make the scene a much hipper and more happening place.

* * *

This magazine is an optional luxury aimed at a special-interest audience that is part of a relatively small market for jazz. JAM could vanish tomorrow and, with the exception of the Jazz Ambassadors and some loyal and astute readers, few would notice or care.

...But then, all ten thousand-plus copies go like hotcakes each time, and in recent years, JAM has become one of the finest regional jazz publications in the country -- even though there are those in that select local audience who remain tenaciously unaware of this fact.

* * *

Over its 21-year history, the Jazz Lover's Pub Crawl has probably seemed chaotic at times, for club owners and performers alike.

...But then, it's only one night out of the year, a whole lot of people enjoy a festive evening out on the town (and get introduced to different KC venues) and, since 1996, the Crawl has enabled the Jazz Ambassadors to donate nearly $50,000 back to the jazz community in the form of scholarships, jazz series and festival support, and emergency assistance for musicians in need.

* * *

As fragile as the Kansas City jazz scene tends to be, it simply cannot afford the luxury of internal feuds. Can't we all just get along?

...But then, when you only want the local jazz scene to live up to its full potential, it's not always easy to ignore idealism or turn off the bullshit detector.

* * *

Be wary of jazz club owners in drag (The Kansas City Star, July 7, 2002) who stage curious publicity stunts. Milton Morris must be spinning in his grave.

...But then, any attempt to raise money for a cause like medical insurance for area musicians is of potential value, especially if it also generates more awareness of one of KC's most important jazz clubs.

* * *

Jazz club patrons who talk over the music insult the artists who are trying to reach them and are a distraction for those who came to hear the band. They should be told to pipe down or leave.

...But then, maybe the talkers are just having a good time and even adding to the positive vibe in the room. (And yes, it's not like I've never blabbed straight through a soulful ballad...)

* * *

Five years after its rebirth, 18th & Vine's big-picture future remains fuzzy and uncertain.

...But then, the noble attempt to bring that historic part of town back to life stands as one of the best things to happen to KC jazz in decades. For that reason alone, it remains worthy of Kansas City's continued and enthusiastic support.

* * *

The anonymous internet poster who once said, "Smooth Jazz does to the music what Gerber does to carrots" had a good point.

...But then, as a program director for 106.5 The City once told us, "There are many rooms in the House of Jazz, and sometimes we need to get people through the front door first." Which is also a good point.

* * *

Calling a music awards show "The Klammies" was a bad idea from the start, and this year's name change was a well-informed, forward-looking decision.

...But then, post-9/11, that whole subject now seems trivial, irrelevant, and no longer worthy of discussion. (As does most everything else on this list, come to think of it.)

* * *

The most engaging, witty and intelligent Kansas City writer in recent memory was the late Chuck Saults (1950-1999). Up against that yardstick, everyone else in town, present company included, seems like an amateur.

...But then, today there are an abundance of excellent writers at The Kansas City Star, The Pitch and other area publications, many of whom have admirable, and enviable skills.

* * *

There is far too much horsing around, fake chortling, and vaudevillian nonsense on local TV news "shows." Whatever happened to the dignified standards of broadcast journalism?

...But then, those who hold those on-air jobs are mostly bright and talented people who are just doing what the idiot-friendly formats now require, or are merely trying to lighten things up after all the crappy news of the day.

* * *

The cavalcade of glorified human aberration that now litters the television airwaves (Jenny, Jerry, Montel, Maury, and the ever-annoying "reality TV") is a sure sign of the coming apocalypse.

...But then, in many ways, that brand of idiocy is no more offensive than "Queen For a Day" was in the 1950s.

* * *

Today's greedy, in-your-face, semi-talented pro jocks who pull in millions a year have an obligation to earn that money with respectable if not banner seasons. (Remember how the late Ted Williams asked for a pay cut after a subpar year?)

...But then, it's not their fault that a twisted marketplace has made it possible for them to rake in such outrageous sums, no matter the mediocre results. Take the money and run.

* * *

Man, do I ever miss Johnny Carson. Classy, erudite, goofy when necessary... and clearly appreciative of one of the great house jazz bands of all time.

...But then, Leno, Letterman and Conan wouldn't be where they are if they didn't have the chops and also weren't vaguely aware of how good the musicians are. And these days, "vaguely" is better than nothin'.

* * *

Gone are the days when you could "drop a needle on a record" and, after only a few notes, identify a current artist by his or her totally unique sound and style. Too many of today's most prominent jazz musicians could be anybody.

...But then, there is a new generation -- along with many of the enduring vets -- whose personal, masterful and creative statements are helping to keep the music alive and looking ahead.

* * *

When venerable pop icons like Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, Elton John and Aerosmith, now in their 50s (and even 60s) continue to fill arenas 20 and 30-plus years after their initial hits, you have to wonder if any of today's media-manufactured music celebs will do the same in 2032.

...But then, "Oops, I Did It Again" will most certainly be hummed by many generations yet to come, don't you think?

* * *

Flaubert was right when he said, "A man becomes a critic when he cannot be an artist in the same way that a man becomes an informer when he cannot be a soldier." Trust me, it takes far less courage to sit here and string together some opinions than it does to actually attempt the things that get judged.

...But then, critics can be masters of the language, musicians of the words, and inspiring artists in their own right. And they can give valuable breaks to those of us in the trenches in need of a boost... or warn consumers about those who just don't have it.

* * *

If your main claim to credibility is being related to credibility (despite going out in the world for 20-some years and doing more cool things than could be squeezed onto this page), don't be surprised if your published opinions are met with mixed reviews. Or even silence.

...But then... but then...

OK. Nevermind.

* * *

And finally...

Anyone who is 100% certain of things, and who, by presuming to be so, removes any chance of correction, education, revision or reconciliation, is probably some kind of sniveling wanker.

And of that observation, friends and angry letter-writers alike, I am 100% certain.






	Search our site:		by Mike Metheny Give Me Ambivalence or Give Me Something Else! Last year I received an angry letter from someone associated with the local jazz scene that, among other nasty and unpleasant things, informed me I "lacked spine." "I've been caught," I thought, as I flipped a well-worn coin ("boxers or briefs?"), wondered if I should go with paper or plastic ("One of each?" I usually ask), and began to review the fences I'd walked with such regularity that cumulative ambivalence had, at long last, blown my cover. How did it come to this? I've asked myself ever since. How had I allowed the trail of contradictions to grow to the point where a stiff reprimand had become required? I can't decide, dammit! Where's that coin? What I do know is that looking into one's own heart in search of the inconsistencies that will muddy an otherwise crystalline worldview can be revealing, especially if the list is as long as this one. OK, here goes. * * * As the number of tombstones in Kansas City's jazz graveyard continues to grow (the Drum Room II, Club 427, the 18th & Vine Heritage Jazz Festival, the International Jazz Festival, KCMW, evening jazz on KCUR, the Blues & Jazz Festival), the term "wake-up call" keeps coming to mind. ...But then, maybe we got spoiled by the vibrant jazz scene of the '90s and a course correction that would take us back to a traditional norm was inevitable. (And hey, there are still plenty of worthwhile events -- including the Folly Jazz Series, the Jazz Workshop, the Corporate Woods Jazz Festival and the Pub Crawl -- that make being a jazz lover in KC a good thing.) * * * Kansas City wants to be taken seriously as a jazz town, but after all these years, there's still a sign above the portal at the city limits that says: "If you have dreams, ambition and a burning desire to raise the bar and be appreciated, exit here." ...But then, Kansas City has always been stocked with many worldclass jazz musicians and fans, is a beautiful place to live, has many excellent venues in which to hear and play live music, and it sure is nice not to have my windshield squeegeed at every stop light. * * * Over the past 60 years KC jazz musicians from Bird and Basie up to Karrin and Kevin have hit the road for greener pastures as soon as opportunity and career successes would permit. ...But then, many outstanding artists have returned to Kansas City helping to make the scene a much hipper and more happening place. * * * This magazine is an optional luxury aimed at a special-interest audience that is part of a relatively small market for jazz. JAM could vanish tomorrow and, with the exception of the Jazz Ambassadors and some loyal and astute readers, few would notice or care. ...But then, all ten thousand-plus copies go like hotcakes each time, and in recent years, JAM has become one of the finest regional jazz publications in the country -- even though there are those in that select local audience who remain tenaciously unaware of this fact. * * * Over its 21-year history, the Jazz Lover's Pub Crawl has probably seemed chaotic at times, for club owners and performers alike. ...But then, it's only one night out of the year, a whole lot of people enjoy a festive evening out on the town (and get introduced to different KC venues) and, since 1996, the Crawl has enabled the Jazz Ambassadors to donate nearly $50,000 back to the jazz community in the form of scholarships, jazz series and festival support, and emergency assistance for musicians in need. * * * As fragile as the Kansas City jazz scene tends to be, it simply cannot afford the luxury of internal feuds. Can't we all just get along? ...But then, when you only want the local jazz scene to live up to its full potential, it's not always easy to ignore idealism or turn off the bullshit detector. * * * Be wary of jazz club owners in drag (The Kansas City Star, July 7, 2002) who stage curious publicity stunts. Milton Morris must be spinning in his grave. ...But then, any attempt to raise money for a cause like medical insurance for area musicians is of potential value, especially if it also generates more awareness of one of KC's most important jazz clubs. * * * Jazz club patrons who talk over the music insult the artists who are trying to reach them and are a distraction for those who came to hear the band. They should be told to pipe down or leave. ...But then, maybe the talkers are just having a good time and even adding to the positive vibe in the room. (And yes, it's not like I've never blabbed straight through a soulful ballad...) * * * Five years after its rebirth, 18th & Vine's big-picture future remains fuzzy and uncertain. ...But then, the noble attempt to bring that historic part of town back to life stands as one of the best things to happen to KC jazz in decades. For that reason alone, it remains worthy of Kansas City's continued and enthusiastic support. * * * The anonymous internet poster who once said, "Smooth Jazz does to the music what Gerber does to carrots" had a good point. ...But then, as a program director for 106.5 The City once told us, "There are many rooms in the House of Jazz, and sometimes we need to get people through the front door first." Which is also a good point. * * * Calling a music awards show "The Klammies" was a bad idea from the start, and this year's name change was a well-informed, forward-looking decision. ...But then, post-9/11, that whole subject now seems trivial, irrelevant, and no longer worthy of discussion. (As does most everything else on this list, come to think of it.) * * * The most engaging, witty and intelligent Kansas City writer in recent memory was the late Chuck Saults (1950-1999). Up against that yardstick, everyone else in town, present company included, seems like an amateur. ...But then, today there are an abundance of excellent writers at The Kansas City Star, The Pitch and other area publications, many of whom have admirable, and enviable skills. * * * There is far too much horsing around, fake chortling, and vaudevillian nonsense on local TV news "shows." Whatever happened to the dignified standards of broadcast journalism? ...But then, those who hold those on-air jobs are mostly bright and talented people who are just doing what the idiot-friendly formats now require, or are merely trying to lighten things up after all the crappy news of the day. * * * The cavalcade of glorified human aberration that now litters the television airwaves (Jenny, Jerry, Montel, Maury, and the ever-annoying "reality TV") is a sure sign of the coming apocalypse. ...But then, in many ways, that brand of idiocy is no more offensive than "Queen For a Day" was in the 1950s. * * * Today's greedy, in-your-face, semi-talented pro jocks who pull in millions a year have an obligation to earn that money with respectable if not banner seasons. (Remember how the late Ted Williams asked for a pay cut after a subpar year?) ...But then, it's not their fault that a twisted marketplace has made it possible for them to rake in such outrageous sums, no matter the mediocre results. Take the money and run. * * * Man, do I ever miss Johnny Carson. Classy, erudite, goofy when necessary... and clearly appreciative of one of the great house jazz bands of all time. ...But then, Leno, Letterman and Conan wouldn't be where they are if they didn't have the chops and also weren't vaguely aware of how good the musicians are. And these days, "vaguely" is better than nothin'. * * * Gone are the days when you could "drop a needle on a record" and, after only a few notes, identify a current artist by his or her totally unique sound and style. Too many of today's most prominent jazz musicians could be anybody. ...But then, there is a new generation -- along with many of the enduring vets -- whose personal, masterful and creative statements are helping to keep the music alive and looking ahead. * * * When venerable pop icons like Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, Elton John and Aerosmith, now in their 50s (and even 60s) continue to fill arenas 20 and 30-plus years after their initial hits, you have to wonder if any of today's media-manufactured music celebs will do the same in 2032. ...But then, "Oops, I Did It Again" will most certainly be hummed by many generations yet to come, don't you think? * * * Flaubert was right when he said, "A man becomes a critic when he cannot be an artist in the same way that a man becomes an informer when he cannot be a soldier." Trust me, it takes far less courage to sit here and string together some opinions than it does to actually attempt the things that get judged. ...But then, critics can be masters of the language, musicians of the words, and inspiring artists in their own right. And they can give valuable breaks to those of us in the trenches in need of a boost... or warn consumers about those who just don't have it. * * * If your main claim to credibility is being related to credibility (despite going out in the world for 20-some years and doing more cool things than could be squeezed onto this page), don't be surprised if your published opinions are met with mixed reviews. Or even silence. ...But then... but then... OK. Nevermind. * * * And finally... Anyone who is 100% certain of things, and who, by presuming to be so, removes any chance of correction, education, revision or reconciliation, is probably some kind of sniveling wanker. And of that observation, friends and angry letter-writers alike, I am 100% certain. RETURN TO AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2002 MAIN INDEX © Kansas City Jazz Ambassadors 1996-2002. All rights reserved.